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In the future, etiquette will become more and more important. That doesn’t mean knowing which fork to pick up—I mean basic consideration for the rights of other animals (human beings included) and the willingness, whenever practical, to tolerate the other guy’s idiosyncracies.

We live in a world where people preach at you constantly (like now, even)—telling you not to be fat, you can’t smoke, you can’t eat butter, sugar will kill you, everthing is bad for you—especially sex.

Every natural human urge has been thwarted in one way or another, so that some cocksucker gets to make a dollar off your guilt.

Ceratin people buy into this because they don’t want to rock the boat. Unfortunately, adaptation of this sort requires that the adaptee willingly destroys his own personality.

If you wind up with a boring, miserable life because you listened to your mother, your Dad, your priest, to some guy on television, to any of the people telling you how to do your shit, then you deserve it. If you want to be a schmuck, be a schmuck—but don’t wait around for respect from other people—a schmuck is a schmuck.

I suggest we learn how to take anything bad that happens to us and polarize it. Instead of eing overwhelmed by a negative event, dodge to the side like those t’ai chi guys and let it whizz by your pants. Maybe it makes a little breeze—big deal. (Please, don’t mistake this for optimism.)

There is an organization in Texas called The Church of the SubGenius, devoted to the teachings of some guy with a pipe in his mouth named “BOB.” I’m not a member, but part of their ‘theology’ parallels mine.

As the planet gets more crowded, we must realize that ‘slack’ is precious, schmucks are plentiful, impingements are impractical and werewolf etiquette for self-defense is a personal necessity.

Techniques must be developed to enable each of us to escape the other guy’s bullshit (just as he wishes to escape ours.) Heaven would be a place where bullshit existed only on television. (Hallelujah! We’s halfway there!)

People should be encoureged to look after their own self-interest, but avoid inflicting themselves on other people—especially don’t inflict yourself on a schmuck. The guy has already made his choice. Cut the schmuck some slack.

SUPER COOL ULTRA HYPE TRES SOCIAL VERY TRENDY   15 Mayıs 2007 23:22